I recently joined the Inspiring Moms Network. One of our first tasks was to come up with a word and focus for the year. I struggled with this all month. What word should I choose? What theme do I want this year to have? What do I want to teach my children this year through my words and actions?
We were given a worksheet to come up with our word that was provided by Christine Kane. You can download your own copy for free here. I worked through the questions and still struggled to come up with a word. The word I had worked through was Enough. I have a hard time being enough… I want to be more. I want to be the perfect mom, perfect wife, perfect accountant, perfect scrapbooker… but, my best is enough and that is a lesson I need to work on.
I tossed “enough” around and decided against it. I set the thought aside and figured it would come to me sooner or later.
I happened to be talking to a very very good friend of mine and he said something about how proud he was of me going back to school for my MBA while juggling a full-time job and twins at home. I blew him off and shot down his compliment.
He responded to me, “What happened to you? You used to have so much confidence and believed in yourself.”
I kinda stuttered and thought for a second. What did happen to me? I used to like what I saw in the mirror. I used to look people in the eye and take on the world. I used to believe in myself.
I had kids. I haven’t lost the weight of being pregnant with twins. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I hate what I see. I feel like I have very few friends. I have even less that I trust.
I am smart. I am a successful accountant. I am working on my MBA. I have a wonderful husband, two beautiful kids. I am a great scrapbooker and card maker. I have a handful of great friends that I would trust my kids’ lives with. I’m doing good. There is no reason to be the way I am… I should be a confident about myself and my life.
I don’t want my kids to grow up without confidence, like I did.
So, my word for 2013…