Dear self…

Dear self,

You are worth it and you are loved.  Don’t be so hard on yourself or give up to easily on your dreams.  Yes, it eventually works out to be even better than what you planned, but don’t ever give up the flame in your eye to be a race car driver.

Call in sick to school more.  Spend more lazy days at home reading books and ordering pizza with your brother.  One day, you would give your right arm to be able to lie around and hang out with him.  Learn the words to American Pie early on.  You’ll have hours of fun doing singing and doing “the” routine with Jeff.  

Stay in college– the first college you went to.  No guy is worth the heartache and tears that you cried claiming you were homesick.  He was there when you got home and he is still here 16 years later.  Stay in school.  Make it work.

Don’t settle for less than your best.  You are capable of getting good grades.  You will graduate from college, even if at times it doesn’t seem like it.

Ignore the owner of the scrapbook store who you overhear telling the other clerk she doesn’t want to hire you as a teacher because you are not a very creative scrapbooker.  You are.  She just doesn’t appreciate your eye for creativity and color.

Never stop thinking outside of the box.  People will try to tape that box up to keep you and your thoughts inside… but, bust out of there and go your own way.

Become a trooper.  Roll with the punches.  Don’t let life’s worries get you down.  Things will work out.

Don’t quit marching band your senior year.  Stick with it even if you don’t like the director or your friends think its uncool.  You’ll miss it.  Trust me.

Do not let anyone at a job belittle you or berate you for your beliefs.  It is none of their business.  Do not let them force you to bend over backwards for them, work non-stop while on bed rest, and then terminate you for the flimsiest excuse in the world.  Do not think your job is more important than your family.  Ever.

Turn your work phone off when you get home.  Do not answer it.  Nothing is that important.  You aren’t a fireman or doctor.

Always, always, always cover your butt.  Save copies of things– emails, letters, faxes.  They can come in handy.

Be yourself.  Always.  Do not change your personality to fit the situation.  You are a great person and if someone doesn’t appreciate that, you don’t need them.

The road to get pregnant is going to be a painful, scary, disappointing one.  Don’t give up.  Keep at it.  It is going to be worth it in the end.  Trust me.

Motherhood is amazing.  A whole new dimension to *you* that creates happiness.

Don’t blink an eye when you purchase the Steelers tickets.  The money was worth it.

Show up for your wedding on time.  Don’t be late.  Very, very late.

Keep playing the clarinet.  Do not switch to the tuba trying to prove something.  Do not switch to pit to quit playing tuba.  Stick with the clarinet.

When your brother calls to ask you to go bowling.  Go.  Stop what you are doing and go.  Don’t put it off.  One day, he isn’t going to be able to call you anymore and ask. 

When your dad doesn’t call you on a Monday, call him.  It might not change things, but at least you will hear his voice one more time.

At bracket finals, don’t screw it up on the tree.  You could’ve ordered a pizza as long as you sat there.  Don’t be stupid.  

Think twice before you do the stupid things in life.  Ask for forgiveness AFTER doing the fun things.  Do what you feel is right.  Stick up for yourself.  Love yourself.

Color more.  Sing more.  Dance more.  Play more.

Begin scrapbooking sooner.  Get a tattoo.

Forgive people that hurt you.

Forgive your parents.

Stick with the photography.  Don’t give it up thinking you aren’t good enough.

Don’t let yourself think you are not appreciated or loved.

Its a rough road to get to where *you* are today, but it was a road well traveled, the sites were amazing and the view from the top is breathtaking.  

Be yourself.  Be strong.  Never give up.  

You are amazing at soon-to-be thirty four.

5 thoughts on “Dear self…

  1. My heart breaks when I read this. Maybe because I have known you for so long. Maybe because I have known your brother and your dad. I feel your pain. I wish I could wrap my arms around you. Your dad and Jeffery were good men. They loved you dearly. Their laughter was contagious.
    They were lucky to have you in their lives…

  2. This is so so awesome. Thanks for sharing. I’ve taken so much from it. I think I’ll hang on to forgiveness and play for today. Now following you via the blog hop. All the best,
    Monica

  3. Wow, this is really heart-wrenching, friend! Thanks so much for sharing.

    I’m so glad you linked up to the Mixer and I hope to see you again on Thursday! Also, come on by and enter to win a super adorable Thirty-One bag or some awesome discounts on a Thirty-One order! 🙂

  4. What a beautiful letter! If only we knew then what we know now. But then I guess none of us would turn out how we are if we knew all. It really is the journey that makes us who we are. I am a new follower from the Mom’s Monday Mingle. Thanks for sharing a part of you with us Blogger Buddies. Have a great evening!

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